Not very useful in the event of a house fire.

No one seemed to offer any plausible reasons for why the giant penis was drawn, but it brought worldwide attention. The family says the boy will need to remove his giant dick when he returns from his travels.

Sometimes the dickheads would wear disguises. They rarely fooled anyone.

The dark alley is home to a multitude of perplexing beings.

When Fagan the Cat wants to go outside, he focuses all of his being on that single thought.

Max could get pissed about anything. You should have seen him when he learned about sausage.

Swim at your own risk.

Chip the Recidivist

When I met Chip he had just been released from prison for being a recidivist. When I told him I didn’t know what that meant, he replied “a chronic fuckup.” Chip calmed down a lot after that.

My Friend Chen

Chen was a baker in the old country. He said he always wanted to help people and he ended up helping me quite a bit. In the kitchen.

Frederick was persecuted by the other chimps because of his dandy dress and aristocratic tendencies.